I have had twelve weeks to prepare myself for tomorrow, yet I am in shock. Tomorrow, I am going back to work teaching music at my elementary school. Throughout my maternity leave, I have tried to not think about November 2nd. I wanted to savor every moment with Mollie- even the ones where I was so tired that I tried to nurse the pillow laying beside me in the middle of the night. I cannot believe that I will get up tomorrow, leave at 7 and not get home to see her until 3:30.
I feel very fortunate that she will be with my mother. I trust her, and I know she will do what is best for Mollie. There are just so many variables that are stressing me out:
Will she melt down when I leave?
Will she freak out when she wakes up from a nap, and I am not there?
Will she have enough to eat?
Will she take 3 or 4 bottles during the day when she has only had one bottle at a time in the middle of the night?
Will my Mom be able to interpret her cries?
Will she sing to her?
How will pumping at work go?
Will I get enough milk?
Will I be able to hide in my closet without a fifth grader opening the door?
Will I be able to eat my lunch and pump and have enough time in lunch break that is less than 30 minutes?
Will I have time to pump while utilizing my planning time?
Will I have time to pump at the end of the day too?
Will I get to have some "happy awake time" with my baby when I get home, or will she be fussy and mad?
AND Will I be able to keep my mind on doing a good job at work in the middle of all of it???